HARVARD 
CELEBRITIES 

eA  Book,  or  Caricatures^ 
Decorative  Drawing's 


., 

FrederickGarrison  Hall  '03 

£8b 
Edward  Revere  Little  '04 


Verses  by 

^s 

Henry  Ware  Eliot  Jr'oe 


/ ;'7  h   Trinted    for  the  Editors 

'  ffi  byfhe 

Vniv  e  rsity  Tress 
Cambridge    V.  S.A 


COPYRIGHT,    1901,    BY 
FREDERICK   G.   HALL 


THE    WAYSIDE    DEPARTMENT    OF    THE 
UNIVERSITY  PRESS,  CAM  BR  I  DOE,  U.S.A. 


O   each  illustrious  Celebrity 

From  whom   this  work  has  drawn  its  in- 
spiration, 
In  gratitude  and  thankful  courtesy 

The  authors   humbly    make   this   dedica- 
tion. 


HIS   is  Shaler, 
Fairy- taler, 

Scientific  mountain-sealer, 

Penetrator 

Of  each  crater 

From  the  poles  to  the  equator, 

Tamer  of    the  hurricane, 

Prophet  of    the  wind  and  rain, 

Hypnotizer 

Of  the  geyser, 

Wizard  of   the  frozen  plain. 

Hark  !    What    is    that    deep    and    distant 

subterranean  roar, 
Arising  near  Memorial  and  reaching  out  to 

Gore  ? 

'Tis  the  rumble  of  applause 
When  the  speaker  makes  a  pause 
In  relating   an  adventure  from  his  fund   of 

earthquake  lore. 


Ift 


H,  what  a  blow,  to  lose  so  dear  a  friend  ! 

And    oh,  how   changed    the    old    familiar 

place! 
SJT"  How   sad  our   midnight   meals  at     Herbie's 

stand 

Without   the  genial    cheer  of  Herbie's 
face  ! 

Since   Herbie  left  us  all  and  crossed   the 

ocean, 
We    scarce   have   heart  to  taste  a  custard 

pie; 

We  cannot  stow  a  dog  without  emotion, 
Or   drink   an  egg-and-milk   without  a 
sigh. 

The  Voice  (it  seems")  that  sanctions  him 
has  called, 

And  sent  him  to  the  van  of  civilization; 
In  fair  Manila  he  has  been  installed 

As  Foster-father  to  a  budding  nation. 


LEASE   make  a  careful  study  of  this  truth- 
ful illustration, 

And    take    especial    notice   of  the    subtile 
connotation. 

The  atmosphere  of    London   is  so  well  sug- 
gested there, 

You  'd   think  you  were   in  "  Rotten    Row  ' 
instead  of    Harvard  Square. 

How  palpably  inadequate  rny  feeble  talents 
are 

To  tell   what   Harvard  culture  owes  to  this, 
its  guiding  star  ! 

Coherence,  Mass,  and  Unity   in    Barrett  are 
combined 

To    edify    the  vulgar,  and    abash    the    unre- 
fined. 


DWARD,  run  the  next  one  in  — 

No,  no  !      That  's  upside  down  - 
Ah,  thank  you  !       This  is,  gentlemen, 

A  figger  of  renown. 
Observe  the  flowing  drapery, 

The  classic  head  and  bust 
(In  Modern  Painters,  Volume  III, 

You  '11  find  these  points  discussed). 

The  thoughtful  rhythm  of  his  dress, 

The  entasis,  how  fine  — 
Organic  fundamentalness 

Expressed  in  every  line! 
As  Viollet-le-Duc"      -but  come, 

Before  we  fall  asleep; 

I  fear  vou  find  this  wearisome  — 

j 

And  printed  notes  are  cheap. 


MOOR  I 


O  observer  would  suppose, 

From  his  unassuming  clothes, 

This   to   be   the   famous   Widow  whom   the 

student    body  knows; 
A  man  of  wealth  immense, 
Yet  lacking  all  pretence, 
He    makes     the     Cyclopaedia     resemble 

thirty    cents. 

He  can  give  the  whole  of  Mill 
In  one  concentrated  pill, 
Or   discourse    at    moment's    notice    on    the 

Freedom  of   the  Will; 
He  will  translate  Voltaire 
With  the  greatest  savoir  faire^ 
And  will  read  Indo-Iranian  and  never  turn 

a  hair. 
Dead    or   dreaming,    drunk    or    sleeping, 

Nolen    puts   you    through, 
But     gratitude    takes    early    wing    when 

Nolen's    bill    is   due. 


I 


/ ; 


F   wit  and    madness  be  as  like  as  Pope  and 

others  tell, 
Then  Copey  by  the  merest    squeak   escapes 

the  padded  cell. 
Those    merry    quips,    those    airy  jests   he 

springs   in    English    8 
Mean    spinal   meningitis   at   no  very  distant 

date. 
And  is  it  all  spontaneous,  or  is  it  (hush  !)  a 

bluff? 
And  does  he  make   them    up  o'  nights,  and 

crib  them  on  his  cuff? 
Oh,  wicked,  clever   cynic!      How  dare  you 

be  so  sly  ? 
How  dare  you  read  "  Peg  Woffington"  and 

make  the  Freshmen  cry  ? 
You    bold,   delicious  joker  !     You  know  it, 

yes,    you    do ! 
There  's   but   one   clever,   clever    Copey  — 

and   that   one   is   you! 


ASY    with  the  fresh  water,  boys, 

And  lavish  with  the  salt ! ' 
Who  lingers  in  the  lukewarm  wash 

Commits  the  deadly  fault. 
Who  shirks  his  half  a  dozen  laps, 

Or  fails  to  bunk  at  ten, 
Will  never  have  the  "  husk  "  and  speed 

To  down  old  Eli's  men! 

The  Globe  may  carp,  the  Herald  scoff, 

The  Crimson  fret  and  fume, 
And  all  the  coaches  wear  an  air 

Of  unremitting  gloom; 
But  Jack  McMasters1  jovial  face 

Is  always  full  of  cheer, 
So  three  times  three  for  Trainer  Jack, 

And  down  with  doubt  and  fear  ! 


EY,  gimme  a  cent!      Hey,  will  yer,  mister? 

Gwan  ! 
Aw,  cheest,   youse   stoodents  never  has   no 

mon! 
Don't  give  him  nuttin'  !     Say,  want  me  ter 

dance  ? 

I   got  a  step '11  put  youse  in  er  trance! 
Chure!      I  kin  scrap!      Dat  feller  lick  me? 

Naw  ! 

Aw,  you  kin  not !  Shut  up,  1 77  bust  yer  jaw! 
I'll  lick  him  fer  a  nickel!  Gimme  a  dime! 
Chure!  Bet  it  on  de  Ha'vards,  every  time! 
Ah,  chure,  youse  has  de  change!  Youse 

ain't  so  swell ! 
Aw,   gimme    a    quarter,    den  !       Aw,    go 

t'elll  " 


. 
M  V    C    K  E 


F  all  the  sprightly  figures  that  adorn  the 
college  scene, 

The  most  supremely  genial  is  our  own  be- 
loved Dean. 

He  '11  kick  you  out  of  college,  and  he  '11 
never  shed  a  tear, 

But  he  does  it  so  politely  that  it's  music  to 
the  ear. 

He  meets  you  in  the  ante-room,  he  grasps 
you  by  the  hand, 

He  offers  you  the  easy-chair,  and  begs  you 
not  to  stand. 

"  Good  morning,  Mr.  Sporticus !  How  is 
your  Uncle  Jini? 

I  used  to  know  him  well  at  school — you 
look  so  much  like  him  ! 

And  you  're  enjoving  college?  Yes?  In- 
deed !  J  am  so  glad ! 

Let's  see  —  six  Es  ?  Impossible!  How 
very,  very  sad! ' 


E    A  ;N 


HAT  a  grim  and  cruel  look 

Has  Mr.  Cram  ! 
But  he  's  really  just  as  gentle 

As  a  lamb. 

For  without  the  least  suspicion 
He  will  sign  your  "  sick  '     petition, 
And  whether  it 's  a  lie  or  not  he  does  n't  give 

a  slam  ! 

Such  a  hustling  and  a  hurry 

He  is  in  ! 
Don't  attempt  to  stop  and  hand  him 

Any  chin. 
"  Name,    please?       YouVe   been    cutting 

some. 

Headaches?     Well,  don't  do  it.      Come!' 
And  you  take  your  hat  and  exit  with  a  meek, 
respectful  grin. 


g&  ON    Dieu  !       What  is  it  that  it  is  ! 

A-walking  on  the  Square" 
We'll  brush  awav  the  smoke-  -Voila! 

11  est  le  bon  Pierre  ! 
He  has  the  figure  --    -  is  it  not  : 

o 

Petit  et  debonnaire  ! 

At  morn  he  punctures  daily  themes 

W7ith  aphorisms  neat, 
At  noon  he  "  bubbles  "  with  the  sports 

Upon  Mount  Auburn  Street; 
At  eve  he  does  the  nobby  stunt 

With  Mrs.  Jack's  elite. 

See  how  the  Radcliffe  maidens  turn 

To  rubber  at  his  clothes  ; 
He  has  a  trulv  high-life  way 

D  j 

Ot    turning  out  his  toes. 
The  niftv   Prince  of    Aplev  Court, 
Our  dainty,  home-grown  Rose! 


USHED    is    the  sound    of  happy  Freshmen 

voices, 
Hushed  is  the  tramp  of  little    Freshmen 

feet; 

No  music  cheers  the  heart  of  Father  San- 
born, 

Save    that   of   hurdy-gurdies   from    the 
street. 

Now  idly  at  the  window  Sanborn  sits, 
And  gazes  out  upon  the  college  gate; 

The  giant  billiard  balls  across  the  way 

Seem  but  to  mock  his  own  unhappy  fate. 

The  Freshmen  pass  his  door,  but  do  not 
enter, 

On,  to  the  Union,  ever  flows  the  stream; 
For  Sanborn  is  a  monarch  without  courtiers, 

His  former  glory  but  an  idle  dream. 


Mil 


ARD    by  the  ancient  grub  resort 

The  honest  Poco  stands; 
He  smiles  upon  each  passing  sport, 

And  mildly  rubs  his  hands. 
The  student  guy,  of  money  shy, 

Is  Poco's  easy  prey; 
There  is  no  green  in  Poco's  eye, 

He  makes  the  business  pay. 

He  beats  the  little  Freshmen  down 

In  manner  most  rococo; 
The  Clothing  Trust  of  Cambridge  town 

Is  Butekan    the  Poco. 
Since  this  is  true,  the  thing  to  do, 

It  certainly  appears, 
Is,  give  your  cast-off  clothing  to 

The  Student  Volunteers  ! 


EYOND    the  vulgar  current  of  events, 
Abhorring  things  collegiate,  doth  he  stay 
(Three    blocks    above     the    dead    line")  ;    far 


~~*  away 


From  all  that  can  offend  the  finer  sense. 
There  meets  the   eye   no  crude  globiferous 

fence, 
No  Fogg,  nor  Gore;  nor  winds   its  noxious 

way 

j 

The    benzine    buggy;    there    no    night-owls 

stray, 
Or  strident   clamorous   muckers   scrambling 

cents. 

And  ever  and  anon  the  far-off  cry 

From     Shady    Hill  —  "Back!     back!"    it 

calls  in  wrath, 
"  To    Ruskin    and    Rossetti!'        But    the 

herd, 
Entranced  with  brutal  sports,  hears  not  the 

word, 
To   Soldiers'    Field    pursues   its    downward 

path, 
And  Art  is  left  to  languish  and  to  die. 


A     000  669  992 


Unive 

So 

L 


